DON’T JUDGE ME!… SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

So here’s a topic I have been very unsure about in recent years; when and for what is it okay to judge someone? Now I really don’t want you to get the wrong impression, I’m not some horrible person that goes around insulting everyone I pass for the hell of it, quite the opposite. I strive constantly to be a good person, but I’m a bit socially awkward and this is a big grey area for me. I’ve had a few situations where I’ve made a comment about another person and been told I’m too judgemental, yet our whole society is riddled with judgement.

We are ranked constantly throughout our lives, beginning even at birth. Babies are compared constantly for rate of development and cuteness. In childhood we take numerous tests and exams, and are placed in classes ranked by those results. In adulthood we have interviews for University and jobs where we are compared with other candidates on ability and presentation. On social media we put value in ‘likes/loves’ and ‘followers’, trusting blindly in brands and influencers with more. We wear the latest fashions, no matter now expensive or impractical, and take hundreds of photos of ourselves in them to post just a few of them online. Take our Tv programmes; Great British Bake-off, X-Factor, Britians Got Talent, Dragon’s Den, Next Top Model, Take Me Out, Naked Attraction, Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Come Dine With Me, Strictly Come Dancing, and so many more. All of them not only give a free pass to judgement of people’s appearance, intelligence, and creativity but many require it as a fundamental part of the show. And don’t get me started on dating websites and Tinder/Grinder! It seems to me like we judge eachother constantly in this world.

So why do we do it? I think it’s a very natural thing that is mainly supposed to be used to asses situations for survival, but has evolved into a way of organising ourselves as a race. It’s definitely a good thing to asses a person by appearance and body language to figure out if they are dangerous, you shouldn’t trust everyone and people can be cruel. It’s good to sort kids by grades in school as they learn better in classes of similar intelligence. It’s good to compare peoples ability for a specific job as many jobs require certain skills to be done safely. You are allowed to judge a singer for their voice, a novelist for their writing, a model for their body, and the cleanliness of a food server. But It is ‘slut shaming’ to say that a skirt that short doesn’t compliment a womans figure? Or ‘stereotyping’ to assume that someone who listens to heavy metal and wears a lot of gothic clothing doesn’t go to church three times a week?

Isn’t judgement just opininon anyway? We are all entitled to our opinion, I’m a big advocate of that. I suppose the most important thing is we are open to change that opininon and don’t assume that the one impression we have taken trangresses to every aspect of a person. Just because someone doesn’t wear make-up it doesnt mean they don’t care about their appearance. And if someone isn’t good at Maths it doesn’t mean they are not increibly smart in other subjects. However it’s probably safe to say someone who loves hunting isn’t a good dating fit for a Vegan. Personally I just try not to let my initial judgement of someone/something stop me from finding out more about them/it before I make a final descision, but i do think it’s a natural part of life. Maybe I should just voice it a little less…